1) Your most recent income tax return and W-2 tax forms for you and your spouse.
2) Any other income documents (such as interest, stock dividends, etc.)
3) Your spouse’s most recent paystub, hopefully showing year-to date earnings (otherwise, try to get copies of all paystubs since the beginning of the year).
4) Deeds to real estate.
5) Titles to cars, boats, or other vehicles.
6) Your will and your spouse’s will.
7) Life insurance policies.
Stocks, bonds, or other investment papers.
9) Pension or retirement fund papers and statements.
10) Health insurance cards and papers.
11) Bank account or credit union statements.
12) Your spouse’s Social Security number and driver’s license number
13) Names, addresses, and phone numbers of your spouse’s employer, close friends, and family members.
14) Credit card statements, mortgage documents, and other debt papers
15) Copies of bills or receipts for regular expenses, such as electric, gas, car insurance, etc.
16) Copies of bills, receipts, insurance forms, or medical records for any unusual medical expenses (including for recurring or continuous medical conditions) for yourself, your spouse, or your children.
17) Any other papers showing what you and your spouse earn, own, or owe.

1. U.S. Air Force
2. U.S. Army
3. U.S. Marine Corps
4. U.S. Navy
5. U.S. Coast Guard
6. U.S. Public Health Service
7. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

In such a situation, it is strongly suggested that you find a lawyer who is familiar with the special problems encountered when one or both parties are in the military. All branches of the service offer some form of legal assistance (such as the JAG office), but you may also wish to check with your local bar association referral service for an attorney who has experience with divorces in military families. The two federal laws that have an impact are the Service members Civil Relief Act (SCRA) and the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA). Each of these will be discussed briefly, but they are extensive sets of laws with a complexity that requires an experienced lawyer to fully evaluate.

The Service members Civil Relief Act (SCRA) was signed into law in 2003, making substantial changes to the Soldier’s and Sailor’s Civil Relief Act (SSCRA) of 1940. The general purpose of this act is to protect active duty members and their dependents from suffering legal disadvantages as a result of being in the service. The SCRA applies to all types of civil (as opposed to criminal) legal and administrative proceedings. As it relates to divorces, the more significant provisions require that a court appoint an attorney for an active duty member before a judgment can be entered, that the proceeding can be delayed for a minimum of ninety days in certain circumstances, and that certain forms be filed to show the court whether the defendant or respondent is in the military. Although the use of videotaped testimony, the required granting of leave, and the availability of pay records may make a delay of proceedings unnecessary, there are still legal procedural steps that must be followed, which are best handled by a knowledgeable attorney.

The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA) allows for the distribution of military retirement pay to a divorced spouse. The calculation of the amount the spouse is to receive can be complicated, and the law is not applied uniformly from state to state (or from court to court). The law also provides for limits on the awards of maintenance, child support, and retirement benefits, as well as for methods of enforcing court orders. All of this requires an experienced attorney to protect the rights of both parties.

If your spouse does not respond to your petition or complaint, or cannot be found, you can continue to the final hearing and get a divorce by default. In most states you will still need to testify and present your proof. Very few states will grant a divorce without any testimony or proof.

CONTESTED DIVORCE
The contested procedure will be necessary if you and your spouse are arguing over some matter and cannot resolve it. This may be the result of disagreement over custody of the children, the payment of child support or maintenance, the division of your property, or any combination of these items.

No-Fault
For a no-fault divorce, you need to testify that your marriage is irretrievably broken (or use whatever language is used in your state), and briefly tell the judge why you do not want to be married any longer. In some states and in some types of consent procedures, your spouse may also need to say the same thing. If there is a separation period required, you may also need to bring a friend to testify that you and your spouse have been living apart for the required period.

Adultery
To prove the ground of adultery, you need testimony from someone who has good, first-hand knowledge of your spouse’s affair. This can be you, a friend, a neighbor, or even a private investigator you hired to investigate your spouse. It will have to be someone who has seen your spouse with the other person in a situation strongly indicating adultery, such as engaging in a sexual act, coming and going from a hotel room, etc.

Cruelty, Desertion, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, or Impotence
The grounds of cruelty, desertion, alcoholism, drug abuse, or impotence can generally be proven by your testimony alone. It is helpful for you to have another person testify as well in order to verify what you say. Also helpful is the testimony of a doctor or other professional who has treated your spouse for alcoholism, drug abuse, or impotence. A court order for treatment of alcoholism or drug abuse, or other documented evidence could also be used.

Insanity
To prove the ground of insanity, you need the testimony of a mental health professional (psychiatrist, psychologist, etc.) who has examined your spouse; someone with official records documenting the insanity; or, a certified copy of a court order committing your spouse to a mental institution. It will not be enough for you and your friends to go to court and say, “He’s crazy.”

Imprisonment
To prove the ground of imprisonment, you need a certified copy of the court’s judgment of conviction and sentencing order. Some states only allow divorce for felony convictions or for prison sentences of more than a certain length of time. Just be sure the papers you have show whatever information is required by the divorce laws in your state. It will be a great proving ground for your divorce!

1) Ask Questions
If you want to know something, or if you do not understand something, ask your attorney. If you do not understand the answer, tell your attorney and ask that it be explained again. There are many points of law that even lawyers do not fully understand, so you should not be embarrassed to ask questions. Many people who say they had a bad experience with a lawyer either did not ask enough questions or had a lawyer who would not take the time to explain things to them. If your lawyer is not taking the time to explain what he or she is doing, it may be time to look for a new lawyer.

2) Give Complete Information
Anything you tell your attorney is confidential. An attorney can lose his or her license to practice if he or she reveals information without your permission, so do not hold back. Tell your lawyer everything, even if it does not seem important to you. There are many things that can change the outcome of a case but seem unimportant to the average person. Do not hold something back because you are afraid it will hurt your case. It will definitely hurt your case if your lawyer does not find out about it until hearing it from your spouse’s attorney. Knowing information in advance can eliminate or reduce the damage to your case.

3) Accept Reality
Listen to what your lawyer tells you about the law and the system, and accept it. It will do you no good to argue because the law or the system does not work the way you think it should.By refusing to accept reality, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment. Remember—it is not your attorney’s fault that the system is not perfect, or that the law does not say what you would like it to say.

4) Be Patient
Be patient with the system (which is often slow), as well as with your attorney. Do not expect your lawyer to return your phone call within an hour. He or she may not be able to return it the same day, either. Most lawyers are very busy and overworked. It is rare that an attorney can maintain a full caseload and still make each client feel like the only client.

5) Keep Your Case Moving
Many lawyers take more cases than can be effectively handled, in order to increase their income. Your task is to become a squeaky wheel that does not squeak too much. Whenever you talk to your lawyer, ask the following questions.

1) What is the next step?
2) When do you expect it to be done?
3) When should I talk to you next?
If you do not hear from the lawyer when you expect, call him or her the following day. Do not remind your lawyer that he or she did not call; just ask how things are going.

6) Firing Your Lawyer
If you find that you can no longer work or cooperate with your lawyer or do not trust your lawyer, it is time to either continue alone or get a new attorney. You will need to send your lawyer a letter stating that you no longer desire his or her services and are discharging him or her from your case. Also state that you will be coming by his or her office the following day to pick up your file. The attorney does not have to give you his or her own notes or other work he or she has in progress, but he or she must give you the essential contents of your file (such as copies of papers already filed or prepared and billed for, and any documents you provided). If he or she refuses to give you your file for any reason, contact your state’s bar association about filing a complaint or grievance against the lawyer.

1) You save the cost of a lawyer.

2) Sometimes judges feel more sympathetic toward a person not represented by an attorney. Sometimes this results in the unrepresented person being allowed a certain amount of leeway with the procedural rules.

3) The procedure may be faster. Two of the most frequent complaints about lawyers received by bar associations involve delay in completing the case and failure to return phone calls. Most lawyers have heavy caseloads that sometimes result in cases being neglected for various periods of time. If you are following the progress of your own case, you will be able to diligently push it through the system.

4) Selecting an attorney is not easy. As the next section shows, it is hard to know whether you are selecting an attorney you will be happy with.

If you don’t want to represent yourself in divorce court then you can carve out a middle ground. You may want to look for an attorney who is willing to accept an hourly fee to answer your questions and give you help as you need it. This way, you save some legal costs but still get some professional assistance. Just be aware that lawyers tend to find fault with anything they did not personally prepare. For example, you can show a lawyer a document he prepared, and if he does not remember he prepared it, he will find things to change. A lawyer may tell you that you have done everything wrong and try to persuade you to let him or her handle your case entirely. Therefore, you may want to resort to seeing a lawyer only if you have encountered a problem at the clerk’s office or with the judge.

1) Judges and other attorneys may take you more seriously. Most judges prefer both parties to have attorneys. They feel this helps the case move in a more orderly fashion, because both sides will know the procedures and relevant issues. People representing themselves very often waste time on matters that have absolutely no bearing on the outcome of the case.

2) Attorneys prefer to deal with other attorneys for the same reasons judges do.

3) A lawyer will serve as a buffer between you and your ex-spouse. This can lead to a quicker passage through the system by reducing the chance for emotions to take control and confuse the issues.

4) You can let your lawyer worry about all of the details. By having an attorney, you only need to become generally familiar with the contents of this book. It will be your attorney’s job to file the proper papers in the correct form, and to deal with the court clerks, the judge, the process server, your ex-spouse, and your ex-spouse’s attorney.

5) Lawyers provide professional assistance with problems. It is an advantage to have an attorney in the event your case is complicated or suddenly becomes complicated. It can also be comforting to have a lawyer to turn to for advice or to answer your questions.

Practice Manuals
At the law library, you will also be able to find books called practice manuals containing detailed information about divorce law in your state, including sample forms for different situations. Some of these books are written in connection with seminars for lawyers, and they can be very helpful in answering your questions about very specific situations.

Court Rules
Court rules are the rules of procedure that are applied in the courts of your state. They may also contain some approved forms. You probably will not need to use the court rules much, but they may be helpful if the court clerk or judge tells you that you have not done something right. In such a case, you may need to read the rule to find out how to correct the problem.

Legal Encyclopedia
A legal encyclopedia is similar to a regular encyclopedia. You simply look up the subject you want (such as “Divorce”), in alphabetical order, and it gives you a summary of the law on that subject. It will also refer to specific court cases, which can then be found in a reporter. On a national level, the two main sets are American Jurisprudence 2d (Am. Jur. 2d) and Corpus Juris Secundum (C.J.S.). You may also find a set for your state, such as Florida Jurisprudence or Texas Jurisprudence.

Basic Divorce Law
1. that your marriage is broken (This is done simply by stating this fact, which means that your marriage relationship is broken and cannot be saved.);

2. how you and your spouse should divide your property;

3. who should have custody of your children and how should they be supported; and,

4. if one of you should receive maintenance, and if so, how much and for how long.

Basic Divorce Procedure
The divorce procedure is also simple. There are basically three steps.

1. File a petition with the court clerk.

2. Notify your spouse.

3. Go to the hearing and present the information required.

1. Rules of Law provide the basic substance of the law, such as a lw telling a judge how to go about dividing your property.
2. Rules of Procedure tell how matters are to be handled in the ourts, such as requiring court papers to be in a certain form r filed within a certain time.
3. Rules of Evidence require facts to be proven in a certain way.

Theory:
The theory is that these rules allow each side to present evidence favorable to that side, and an independent person or persons (the judge or jury) will be able to figure out the truth. Then, certain legal principles will be applied to that truth that will give a fair resolution of the dispute between the parties. These legal principles are supposed to be relatively unchanging, so we can all know what will happen in any given situation and can plan our lives accordingly. This provides order and predictability to our society. Any change in legal principle is supposed to occur slowly, so the expected behavior in our society is not confused from day to day.

Reality:
Unfortunately, the system does not really work this way. The following are only some of the problems in the legal system.

a) The system is not perfect. Our efforts to find fairness and justice have resulted in a complex set of rules. Contrary to how it may seem, the rules are not made just to complicate the system and confuse everyone. They are attempts to make the system as fair and just as possible. They have been developed over several hundred years, and in most cases, they do make sense. The rules are designed to apply to all people, in all cases. Unfortunately, following the rules does not seem to give a fair result in some situations.

b) Judges do not always follow the rules. It is a shocking discovery to find that judges do not always pay any attention to legal theories and the law. Many judges make a decision simply on what they think seems fair under the circumstances. Unfortunately, what seems fair to a particular judge may depend upon his or her personal ideas and philosophy. For example, there is nothing in the divorce laws of many states that gives one parent priority in child custody. However, a majority of judges believe that a young child is generally better off with his or her mother. All other things being equal, these judges will find a way to justify awarding custody to the mother, even if it means twisting the law or the facts.

c) The system is often slow. Even lawyers get frustrated with how long it can take to get a case completed (especially if they do not get paid until it is done). Whatever your situation, things will take longer than you expect. Patience is required to get through the system with a minimum amount of stress. Do not let your impatience or frustration show. No matter what happens, keep calm, and be courteous and polite to the judge, the court clerks, any lawyers involved, and even your spouse (at least while you are in court).

d) Half of the people lose. The legal system is designed to produce a winner and a loser. This usually precludes a win-win situation that might be possible (and more fair) with some other type of system. Remember, there are two sides to every legal issue, and there is only one winner. Do not expect to have every detail go your way. If you leave anything to the judge to decide, you can expect to have some things go your spouse’s way.